Sustaining Grace

August 14, 2005
My Journey with Cancer
Sustaining grace

This journey is colorful. They say that when it rains, it pours.
Last week, I was struck with another respiratory infection coupled with a new illness which is asthma. As if having invasive breast cancer is not enough, my journey is now sprinkled with a little more spices here and there. But the positive thing that I could thank God for is that, I was able to go through my six chemotherapy sessions and reached the finish line, unhampered. Low immune system is expected after the series of treatment. So after traveling thirty minutes by the sea and four to five hours on land my husband brought me back to Cebu Cancer Institute.

But along the way, I refused to feel miserable. Here, in the stillness of nature, the mountainside was pulsating of growing things. Unmindful of tomorrow, remnants of fire tree blossoms, and explosions of bougainvilleas were cascading along the seaside, mingling with greens and yellow shrubberies. Their radiance lifted my spirit. Wildflowers dotted everywhere, while acacia trees formed lacy canopies above the clear blue skies. Dappled lanes stretched endlessly before my eyes.
God paints His masterpiece. He reminds us in Psalms 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.” Away form pollution and noise, solitude is a soothing ointment to the soul. I learn from the trees, the flowers and the birds. God clothes them and feeds them, how much more us who are valuable than they?
Breast cancer maybe a killer but cannot take away hope. The hope that I could still spend the remaining chapter of my life more fruitfully. The length of the time may not matter after all.
Recently, an unprecedented rise of breast cancer cases among women in the world, triggered more urgency among health experts in battling this deadly lay killer. The earlier breast cancer is found, the better the chances that the treatment will work. For those who have not been afflicted by this disease, awareness about the body counts a lot.
While breast awareness and breast self-exam should be an operation with younger women in their twenties with the proper guidance of a doctor or nurse, women who have reached the age of forty and above are encouraged to have a mammogram every year.
Mammogram is an x-ray of the breast. The breast is pressed between two plates to flatten and spread the tissue. It can cause discomfort for a few seconds but it is necessary to get a good picture. Although sometimes mammograms miss some cancers, it is still the best way to find them.
The most common sign of breast cancer is a new lump or mass. It is usually painless, hard and has edges which are irregular. But some cancers could be rounded, soft or tender. Other signs could be the following: a swelling part of the breast, a nipple discharge which is not breast milk, redness of the nipple or breast skin, nipple pain or when your nipple is turning inward, skin irritation or dimpling. It is always good to see doctor since early detection may save lives.
We may close our eyes from the truth, but the truth remains. Internet sources say that more than 150,000 new cases are detected and more than 50,000 deaths occur each year in the United States alone. The Philippines is highest in Asia among breast cancer cases in women.
Every sunset spells the end of the other day. My countdown continues. I’m on my 8th month since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Sometimes I wish that I will wake up one day and realize that everything has been a dream. But every time, I am reminded of the chilling truth that one day this journey will end. But for now it goes on, undaunted, even if sometimes discouraged, and defeated.
During clear and cloudless nights, I look outside my window, and I see the stars. I’m reminded that countless as they are, God knows them by name.